100 things to make you a better person

Podcast

First, I don’t mean this title to be deceptive or click bait as is the common term.

This heading was the original name of a chapter in my upcoming book The Paradise Induction – to be released at the end of June.

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I didn’t finish the chapter so I don’t have a list of 100 things.

I have 35.

I decided to pull the chapter from the book, as I felt it was far too obvious a show of protagonist Christopher Charles’s personality.

I would much rather readers analyse and evaluate, to form their own perceptions of the character , than be force fed.

Still, I thought it would make for an interesting blog post, so here it is:

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In this scene, 25-year-old British Christopher Charles is bartending at his beach bar. Most American tourists expect a Caribbean bartender in this region, so when they hear his accent, they’re often surprised…

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Another customer approached.

I flashed the smile and said the simple greeting.

“Hi, how are you doing?”

“Fine dude, and yourself man?” replied the young American wearing a backwards cap, tank top, and silver necklace.

“Very well thanks – what would you like?”

His face expressed the curiosity of his mind. He took a moment to work it out; to question it.

Did he just hear correctly? he likely thought. 

His next words articulated the brief thought process, but rather than say the obvious – he raised it as a question: “Where are you from man?”

“London,” I replied.

“I thought so dude – the accent. Cool. Cool. What brought you out here?”

This question rose so many times, but he was lucky we were talking during a slow spell, because any other time – it couldn’t happen…

After we exchanged words and I served his drink, I could not help but think about my identity.

In striving to be the best person I could be physically and mentally, the side that involved improvement of the mind was always the most difficult.

When I was 17, I made a choice; a conscious, intentional choice.

I want to be good and strong I said as an underpinning statement of the kind of man I desired to become.

In my life, I had told myself constantly, keep being Christopher Charles. Keep being the good guy. Maintain mental strength over adversity. 

I had created a founding structure to this impending good man status:

1) Have appreciation and gratitude – the foundation of everything
2) Acquire financial stability
3) Work an occupation you love
4) Command respect and appreciation from your peers, friends, colleagues, family
5) Find your soul mate

I always had difficulty with no. 5 despite a desire to have a partner early on in life, rather than a string of flings.

Sadly, the latter was more accurate for my life – didn’t understand why…

But I had a list–a long list–playing in my mind at all times of all the components that kept me standing as strong and good:

1) Listen more than speak – it’s the best form of communication

2) Be absolutely honest – the truth is patient but will always emerge in some way so best to get it out in the most diplomatic and efficient way

3) Be genuine – you will feel better for it and people have a way of detecting fakers

4) Be a good man – if you feel the slightest bit wrong about anything you’re doing, it’s probably not the right thing to do

5) Be a strong man – a broad term but it’s found in perseverance, overcoming adversity, and learning from it

6) Be generous – it’s good to be giving

7) Be kind – lending an ear even if someone hasn’t asked can be the greatest good

8) Be honourable

9) Be forgiving – holding onto pain and grudges only weighs you down

10) Be patient

11) Keep your head up – never bow before ‘the beasts’ of this world

12) Be compassionate

13) Maintain balance

14) Hold it together

15) Speak your mind

16) Always do better

17) Exceed expectations

18) Focus on the positive

19) Be smart

20) Learn true appreciation

21) Try new things

22) Exercise as much as possible

23) Drink lots of green tea (decaffeinated)

24) Sleep on the floor sometimes

25) Stretch as much as possible – this maintains good blood flow, muscle flexibility, and which keeps the mind unencumbered

26) Don’t be fake

27) Don’t be limited

28) Don’t settle – relationships are difficult enough, but if you are not sufficiently confident in the beginning. It’s likely to go wrong later on

29) Don’t use people – going for someone just because they are available and ‘easy’ gives you the power, but people have feelings

30) Maintain friendships and acquaintances with like-minded people ONLY – letting other people in that don’t follow similar foundational principals or ambitions will get you into trouble

31) Don’t be envious of people

32) Don’t take risks – instead study the apparent risk and turn it into a calculated motion

33) Don’t drink so much – we all know the truth about this one no matter how we try to excuse it. Fact is, it’s demon juice

34) Don’t return to a relationship if it’s gone wrong – it’s like refilling a bucket with a puncture. The leak will remain

35) Keep the darkness at bay – inside every one of us is a self-destruct button. It comes in different forms and varying degrees of intensity, but when that sadness/ depression kicks in, use all tools readily available to keep on top of things

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