Chapter 4 – Extract 13 from The Paradise Induction!
The simple dream of a ten year-old having a family of his own hadn’t come true and I’d really, really, really believed in it.
The light at the end of the tunnel, had been an oncoming train, and it had smashed every ounce of life out of me; a dream so simple had morphed into a mammoth and trampled me underneath instead of becoming my great future.
I lost all self-confidence after University. Anytime I looked in the mirror, a voice in my head would say “you’re ugly. You’re dirty. You’re never going to meet the right woman. Your chance is over. University is done.”
In attempting to be a good man for the perfect woman I’d one day marry, I remained celibate for the entire year after University. It wasn’t planned—it just happened because I feared losing morality and still sought the unblemished woman of my dreams. I saw one night rendezvous’ as plain wrong, so I didn’t make the ‘moves.’ It shoved my confidence into minus degrees.