10.4.2020.
The days are rolling on very slowly.
I have no problem with this. Life was going too fast and 2019 was the fastest year yet!
Some say this ‘time-warp’ is related to maturity, ageing…
I think that this observation has merit, but I also believe in the Biblical principal of God accelerating the days of this world as it approaches an inevitable end.
It’s astonishing how fast it’s all gone.
I still struggle to see myself as 35 years old sometimes.
Where did the time go?
I’m thankful I can answer that question with my detailed memories…
(15) The Dark Passenger emerges
1998 – 1999. Age Fifteen.
English Literature class at Secondary School was having a very strong impact on me.
The concepts of right and wrong conceived a thirst for more information about morality and psychology.
Shakespeare’s texts were the most intense source of inspiration in this endeavour.
On the dark side, depression was knocking at my door.
I really wanted a girlfriend–a monogamous, faithful, pure relationship. But being in an all-boys’ school left me with a bit of a challenge…
I grew gravely sad about my school life.
I’d never fitted into the private school ‘old boys’ network.
My own resentment about the single gender scenario amplified a loathing and anger about life, feeding childhood wounds I didn’t even know I had.
I wanted out…and meant that in more ways than one….
During this dark time, I made a vow to the universe.
I said:
“in ten years time, if I’m still not happy with London, I’m leaving the country…”
Message from Jesus – “Keep hope. Be good. Do not worry about tomorrow.”
Message from the World – “We will take that vow. You WILL leave the country in 10 years time.”
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