2020 – Surrendering my Life…Reflecting on 35 Years

14.4.2020.

It’s been three weeks of official lock-down.

I was talking to my father and we were discussing the potential outcome of three months.

Will people be able to handle it?

Although there are some incredible positives that can come out of this situation like family re-unifying, re-learning gratitude for basic amenities, and developing thought with deeper, abstract concepts, there’s already been massive negatives.

Couples who have never known one another, have spent prolonged time with each other and learned just how incompatible they are, domestic violence and child abuse reports have risen, and I’m sure, even worse situations…

So the question, “What will become of us after this is over?” may have already be answered…

January 2003 - One of my close friends from Primary School
January 2003 – One of my close friends from Primary School
August 2003 - Greece, Age 18
August 2003 – Greece, Age 18
August 2003 - Greece - The family
August 2003 – Greece – The family

(19) Moral code corrupted

2002 – 2003. Age Nineteen.

This was an awful year; the final year of Secondary School in which I’d pretty much made myself a loner.

I no longer hung out with friends at breaks or lunchtime.

Instead, I would do my homework in an empty classroom.

I seriously resented my school for one simple reason. No girls.

I would also visit one of my Primary School friend’s Secondary School – the co-ed version of my school called Alleyns.

It didn’t help with my frustration though.

All I saw was a life I could’ve lived, but wasn’t…

I waited longingly for University days to rescue me, fulfilling my decade-long dream of meeting the right woman.

In August 2003, we took a family holiday to Greece.

My morality with women, which I’d upheld by not receiving their advances in night clubs and house parties, fell all in one night.

I got severely drunk on Mai Tais for the first time, kissed a girl for the first time, and went the distance.

I remember feeling so ashamed.

I had waited for the right woman and had passed over several who I found more attractive physically and mentally than the person I did ‘the deed’ with.

I concealed my guilt and shame with more Mai Tais.

Message from Jesus – “-”

Message from the World – “Drink, enjoy life. You’ve been missing out. You deserve this! It’s all you. You got this.”

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